An Affair To Remember: My Husband Approved Of My Affair.
Posted on 27/03/09 in Dating by admin
I've been married for more than 20 years. My husband is my best friend. There is a lot of deep-rooted love but sadly no more excitement, no more desire - and I needed more. With my husband's blessing, I joined a dating website for married people. After many encounters I met 4tunesfool in February last year. We clicked as soon as we saw each other. We kissed and decided to meet again.
We met tentatively in a quiet hotel (his wife was away with their sons at her parents); we made love all night and again in the morning. It was quite simply the most amazing passion we had both ever experienced. It was overwhelming. We met again many times and every time was like the first, always electric with this incredible passion.
Then things changed, beginning with a motorbike accident. He was in hospital for a week. His mother became poorly with cancer, summer came and went, we conversed via e-mails and texts. We arranged to meet, but sadly his mother died two days before.
Finally we got together in Epsom, a new hotel, a lovely room. He could no longer stay overnight, he gave me an excuse, which I didn't understand but accepted, because that's what you do. It was as before, an incredibly passionate few hours of blissful happiness. He took a photo, an amazing angle of us together, on my phone. We showered, dressed and parted outside - the last I saw of him, in his motorbike leathers.
Over the coming months conversation slowed to nothing. I sent e-mails and texts to ask why but an explanation never materialised. He just sent this text: “The question I keep asking myself is Why? I know this woman who is sexy, sensual and I want something chronic, but I am letting her slip through my fingers. I know all I need to do is call and give her the respect she deserves but I keep letting her down. I should be saying that you will be better off telling me where to go but I am too selfish for that...T, as ever, emotionally crippled but thinking of you.”
I have since discovered that his wife was pregnant and that they now have a beautiful daughter as well as the two lovely boys. He never told me, I never knew. He has gone to be the father and husband that he needs to be to his young family.
And me, have I moved on? I fell in love for the first time in my life. This man brought me to life and blew the cobwebs out of the many empty spaces, which had slowly been killing me. I have a desperately aching heart, some fantastic memories, which often make me smile secretly, and an amazingly explicit photo of our very special time together. Is it enough? Of course not, I want...him.
